If I get this idea out of my head, maybe I won't feel this way anymore.

From Anne Lamott’s, Bird by Bird:

“And then I tell my students that the odds of their getting published and of bringing them financial security, peace of mind, and even joy are probably not great. Ruin, hysteria, bad skin, unsightly tics, ugly financial problems maybe; but not peace of mind.”

When you’re an artist, you think, “If I get this idea out of my head, maybe I won’t feel this way anymore.” You get the idea out of your head, and you feel fantastic for maybe a day or two, but the feeling comes back.

“I tell them that I think they ought to write anyway. But I try to make sure they understand that writing and even getting good at it, and having books and stories and articles published will not open the doors that most of them hope for. It will not make them well. It will not give them the feeling that the world has finally validated their parking tickets, that they have in fact finally arrived.”

Writers have a need to feel validated. If society recognizes our work, then the sacrifices and insanity were all worth it, and maybe our ideas will live on without us.

“My writer friends, and they are legion, do not go around beaming with quiet feelings of contentment. Most of them go around with haunted, abused, surprised looks on their faces, like lab dogs on whom very personal deodorant sprays have been tested.

But I also tell them that sometimes when my writer friends are working they feel better and more alive than they do at any other time. And sometimes when they are writing well, they feel that they are living up to something” - Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott (xxx-xxxi)

The only thing that will make you feel better is to show up and write.